@gwatts77: A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs...by keeping Taco Bell open 24 hours.
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@koalaslament: I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they're in the middle of a race.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Marriage Tip: If your husband is watching golf, show him you're interested by repeatedly asking "why doesn't our lawn ever look that nice?"
@perfect_boxx: I was asked to name my top 10 most favorite books. I don't have 10 so I just started naming insects.
@scorpicpanda: I'm gonna covet you. I am gonna covet you so hard. I am gonna covet the holy living shit outta you. C'mere.