@gwatts77: A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs...by keeping Taco Bell open 24 hours.
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@alanferrier: Who would have believed that the perfect Wikipedia photo caption could have been improved upon?
@sucittaM: Tell the guy at the first drive-thru window that you want the guy at the second window to throw your food into the car without you stopping.
@theyearofelan: Don't be sad when your exes unfollow you. It just means they'll spend more time manually checking your updates
@djdarrellripley: Her: Isn't she your girlfriend? Me: No, No, No, I broke up with her two days ago. She just hasn't checked her voice mail yet...