@JohnsonDiaz21: A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it's sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can't really touch anything.
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@Karissajem: Listen up, bagel man. We've got a good thing going here so let's not mess it up by you asking if I want the fat free cream cheese instead.
@causticbob: Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
@ianduhig: "I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"