@JohnsonDiaz21: A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it's sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can't really touch anything.
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@: I want to open a restaurant for divorcees but I can't think of what to name it other than fed ex
@AnniemuMary: Recipe called for 3 eggs. Only had 2. No problem, I thought, I’ll just cut the recipe by one third. Deep within the ingredient list, 2 and 2/3 cups of Bisquick cackled, basking in the moment it would reveal itself, far too late for anything to stop the math that would be needed
@TheUnfitFather: My family wanted a Disney experience so I charged them $150 to stand in a line for three hours before taking our daughter to the bathroom.