@_NTFG_: A News Reporter just described someone as "Healthy as a Bus".
Yeah....I don't know either.
@sixfootcandy: Trainer: Did you know that you burn approx 80 calories per hour while sleeping?
Me: Really? [curls up on weight bench] Wake me up in 2025.
H: I'm at Lowes, how wide is the door frame?
M: I measured, it's 35 and then 3 little lines after a big long line.
@Majorboobage: 9: Dad, did you know that in some cultures the groom doesn't even know the bride until after they're married.
Me: That's every culture son.
@thatUPSdude: I keep my car insurance deductible high just to help me fight the urge from side swiping people that don't use a blinker.
@TheJessicaLong: The little girl behind me asked her mom what murder was, confirming my suspicious that Sesame Street doesn't prepare you for the real world.