@_NTFG_: A News Reporter just described someone as "Healthy as a Bus".
Yeah....I don't know either.
@ComedicBust: Lawyer: TELL ME WHY YOU STABBED HIM
Me: Well, he responded to a text by calling and left me a voicemail.
[Lawyer throws up]
@rachelle_mandik: "Actually I have a lot of secs" is apparently not the right answer to "Do you have a sec?"
@canadasandra: We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
@SEvans_author: Karate Kid taught an entire generation that there is nothing that dedication, perseverance, and an illegal kick to the face can't solve
@hippieswordfish: ME: *falls down the stairs* help buddy im hurt bad call 911
ROBE-BOT: another robe sir?