@_NTFG_: A News Reporter just described someone as "Healthy as a Bus".
Yeah....I don't know either.
@Six_Pack_Mom: *watching husband sleep*
Me: "I just love him so much, he's my everyth-"
Me: "I can't live like this."
@TheMichaelRock: Me: You can just keep that pen.
Me: Yeah. I noticed you don't wash your hands in the restroom.
Me: I told everyone.
@gossipgriII: how do lawyers argue without crying
@AllieA: On my first day of college my dad's only advice was "don't date any of your teachers!" Yeah right dad, everyone knows teachers are poor.
@mynameisntdave: ME: honey, it's really muggy out today
WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u
ME: *sips coffee from bowl*