@_NTFG_: A News Reporter just described someone as "Healthy as a Bus".
Yeah....I don't know either.
@mlinhart: Dear fork,
I just wanted to inform you that you have a son. His name is Spork.
Spoon PS: he has your hair.
@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength.
@thesulk: "I got chills, they're multiplying, and I'm losin' control." Buddy, you got stomach flu.
@DelanieFischer: One of my favorite things about Walmart: the impulse buy is no longer a breathmint, it's an entire rotisserie chicken.
@sad_tree: [crime show]
DETECTIVE: It looks like the guy that inserts dramatic music into our show has been..
*Flintstones theme song plays*