@mattchew81: A nicer way to tell someone their breath stinks is to say "I'm bored, let's go brush your teeth!"
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@Carmensadie: I changed my name in my daughters phone to God...just texted her and said "I saw that" You should of seen her face. Priceless
@iwearaonesie: me: How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?! Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"
@michaelianblack: Any celebrities who are thinking of dying soon, please befriend me so I can relate a moving and humorous anecdote when you pass.