@Just__J0: A panic attack is hearing your teens laughing in another room at the same time you can't find your phone.
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@NintenDom: It's Facebook's 10th birthday today. Let's all click "Maybe" on the event invite and then not show up.
@robfee: Dang girl are you the police on Grand Theft Auto, because 2 minutes after I leave you forget all about me & move on to someone else.
@bananagrvyrd: My DNA results came back and apparently I'm .0002% aardvark. Which pretty much answers all the questions I've ever had. About anything.
@ShawnIzadi: That moment you could pass as an Olympic speed walker because you are racing to the bathroom.