@Just__J0: A panic attack is hearing your teens laughing in another room at the same time you can't find your phone.
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@sixthformpoet: A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.
@thegreatnanak: Brain: I see you're trying to sleep. Let me ruin your night by playing your worst memory from high school.
@karencheee: Going to the gym is such a great workout. I never actually enter the building, but the walk there is nice. Sometimes I even walk back.
@Sickayduh: [England 1320] "Dearest fair lady, thou art the finest in the land. Allow me to gaze upon thee soon. My love grows." *waits 6 months* "K"