@Just__J0: A panic attack is hearing your teens laughing in another room at the same time you can't find your phone.
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@Swishergirl24: My favorite part about family dinner is when my brother says how he made 600K last year and I get to say someone made a clock of my Avi.
@ArfMeasures: Tech support: Your hard drive is corrupt and can't be recovered Me: So the book I've been writing for 5 years has gone forever?!!! Tech Support: how much had you written? Me *still in shock* almost 7 sentences
@CVTBaby: You know how you have that ONE hoodie that no matter when or what you're eating -- you ALWAYS spill something on it? It's cuz you're a pig.
@weenbeans: *barber hands me the mirror to check the back* "Looks good!" I lie, after a few seconds of being unable to get the mirror to angle properly