@UNTRESOR: A person running around with a laptop chasing an unsecured WiFi signal looks eerily like a cat chasing a laser pointer.
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@pleatedjeans: U can give out anything on Halloween it doesn't have to be candy last year I gave a kid my cable bill it was awesome he paid it & everything
@jctwritesstuff: *sets cauldron over crackling fire* *adds lock of his hair* *does magicky stuff* Now love me. **POOF** *my left eyebrow falls off*
@TheMichaelRock: 7yo: I HAVE A LOOSE TOOTH! Me: The Tooth Fairy doesn't want you messing with it until payd...Friday.
@ericsshadow: [traffic stop] COP: where ya headed? ME: on my way home COP: *shining flashlight in my backseat* ME: look at me when I'm speaking to you