@UNTRESOR: A person running around with a laptop chasing an unsecured WiFi signal looks eerily like a cat chasing a laser pointer.
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@RxitWounds: [Auto-shop class] "Cody, for the last time, it's still a carburetor even when it's in a van" *raises hand* "Or a truck" *lowers hand*
@: ME WATCHING OLYMPIC EVENT: “Holy shit that was amazing!” COMMENTATOR: “Ooh, that was not good at all. He must really be upset with himself.”
@FattMernandez: I just saw a pizza delivery guy get in a terrible accident. I feel so bad. Someone's just sitting around, wondering where their pizza is.
@Cravin4: My top 5 yoga positions 5 Napping Warrior 4 Downward Spiral 3 Crying Plank 2 Farting Tree 1 Drunk Hasselhoff