@jonnysun: a person who loves cats is not a cat person theyre a dog person who loves cats. a cat person is sombody who is completley apathetic to cats
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@causticbob: Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?
@TheWoodenslurpy: Your secrets are safe with me because I literally won’t remember them. This also applies to your birthday. Your birthdays are safe with me.
@captainolya: My week is basically: Monday Monday #2 Monday #3 Monday #4 Friday Saturday Pre-Monday
@squirrel74wkgn: You know what sucks about Karaoke? Coworkers don't appreciate the time & effort that I put into my make up or outfit before singing Madonna