@therepoguy: A picture so sexy my computer just covered my eyes.
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@TheTweetOfGod: The two most popular gifts women receive on Valentine's Day are a box of things that make her fat and a bouquet of things she can watch die.
@LouisPeitzman: If you can't handle me at my fattest, then you sure as hell don't deserve me if I ever lose weight. Which could happen, you don't know.
@omerwahaj: I remember the exact moment growing up when I came to know that a babysitter was not someone who sat on babies.