@StoferComic: A picture's worth 1,000 words, which explains why Twitter only shows 14 percent of the images I post.
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@TheEighthKnight: Me: I have a huge crush on this girl. Him: What’s her name? Me: I’m not telling you. Him: What does it start with at least? Me: @
@okimstillhungry: Scientist: You left the cage open and 349 frogs escaped. Me: I guess I FROGOT :) Scientist: *rubbing bridge of nose* They were poisonous.
@jonnysun: HILLARY: donald-- TRUMP: --wrong HILLARY: …trump-- TRUMP: --wrong HILLARY: [smiling serenely] …is good TRUMP: --wrong. nno wait. nno. no, no