@fuzzlime: A pinata at my funeral so people will be happy.. but filled with bees so they're not too happy.
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@PaperWash: What's that, turkey? GOBBLE GOBBLE Timmy fell in a well? GOBBLE GOBBLE [breaks turkey's neck] no time for your riddles, in the oven you go
@daemonic3: Sloth 911: What's your emergency [1 week later] Sloth: I'VE BEEN SHOT [1 week later] Sloth 911: DON'T MOVE! We'll be there in a month
@Mostly_Cheese: I got locked out of my house after having dinner at an Italian restaurant. I had gnocchi.