@amishschool: A political analyst said we can defeat ISIS by "crippling them financially" so maybe we can sneak into Syria and build them a Whole Foods.
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@riverpig12: Twitter : bc in real life Smart, funny, beautiful women are not following us anywhere.
@PostCultRev: I asked two Uber drivers to pick each other up and am watching them chase each other in circles around my block until they run out of gas.
@WhatevaConc: The word résumé has fireworks coming out of it to help with the pronunciation yet we're left to fend for ourselves with colonel?
@LinajkReturns: You have beautiful eyes. Too bad they're attached to the head of a stark raving lunatic.