@cheeky__gal: A poltergeist was moving furniture around the house, and I really love what he's done with the place.
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@snmrrw: Rasputin never died that day, as an immortal being. He hid for decades, before dropping the "Ras" and slipping back into Russian politics.
@fightforfood: Whenever Becky says anything in the breakroom, I just say, "well, that got racist pretty fast" and walk out. I hate you so much, Becky.
@RidiculousSheri: I usually roll around in the magazine aisle at Barnes and Noble before a date because I want to smell nice, but I'm on a budget.
@truegritrumble: ME: *staring into my lover's eyes in the midst of a warm embrace* HER: What are you thinking? ME: *caressing her cheek* I forgot your name.