@bathflyer: A ponytail so tight I look 5 years younger and everyone thinks I've been smiling all day.
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@tchrquotes: Having kids is a little like when the free sample lady tries to tell you all about the cheese & you pretend to be interested while you eat.
@DaddyJew: 7: I wanna watch a movie Me: its late, sleep 7: I WANNA WATCH A MOVIE M: fine *puts in Texas Chainsaw Massacre* goodnight you little shit
@dreamthievin: A true Columbus Day sale in a mattress store would mean all the merchandise is infested with smallpox