@bathflyer: A ponytail so tight I look 5 years younger and everyone thinks I've been smiling all day.
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@Jarhead44: If you ever wondered how long it takes for an over-heated microwave burrito to cool off, the answer is 37 days.
@SuperApple8: All I want in life is to be cool enough to cut up slices of an apple and eat them directly from the knife.
@AaronFullerton: If you zoom out during the opening credits of "Friends," you'll see that the security guard who protects that fountain is DEAD.