@bathflyer: A ponytail so tight I look 5 years younger and everyone thinks I've been smiling all day.
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@mattZillaaaa: My credit card company sent me a final notice bill. Good, I was tired of hearing from them
@CooIStepDad: "Son it's time we had the talk" "Cmon dad I know about se.." "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams" "What?" "It was an inside job"
@robcorddry: Batman's an example of a guy who took his parents double homicide and made lemonade