@RobocopLust: A portmanteau is when you combine 2 words to make 1 word. A great example of this is Groupon, a mixture of grey and poupon.
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@tiffinysawyers: Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I'm available.
@mjkspeaks: [on phone with attorney] HIM: you're being charged for murder. ME: damn that sounds expensive i guess you can just put it on my Amex
@hazelmotes1: I read an article about a stolen dog being reunited with its owner and it made me feel good to think maybe someone will steal my dog one day
@Chumpstring: ME: I lied in my interview. BOSS: what was the lie? ME: all lies. except about my aunt. BOSS: she wants to party with me? ME: big time.