@RobocopLust: A portmanteau is when you combine 2 words to make 1 word. A great example of this is Groupon, a mixture of grey and poupon.
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@_wangwe: Her: I heard your sister went to the US. Me: Yeah she did. Her: Which state? Me: Alaska. Her: Cool, when she tells you, tell me.
@rad_milk: I dropped a piece of cheese on the airplane and i know it rolled forward and some piece of shit in first class is enjoying it now
@ehdannyboy: People that start a sentence with "Now I'm not trying to be rude" are either about to be rude, or about to sing Ignition by R Kelly.
@LifeStricken: [Job Interview] HR : What do you consider your biggest weakness? Me : (pulls out machete) *whispers under my breath "I can't forgive people"