@alldrolledup: A Post-It note on every wine bottle at home that just says DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR AGAIN THAT WAS BAD
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@xLiserx: People who buy copious amounts of everything before a blizzard: Is there nothing in your house every other day of the year?
@weinerdog4life: Last time I did drugs I dated an All-In-One Printer for 3 days, so no thank you.
@Kim_pulsive: I plan to scary-haunt anyone who says "she wouldn't want us to be sad" at my funeral. If you're not sad that I'm gone forever you deserve it