@1evilidiot: A protected acct with 0 followers just followed me. Mom, is that you?
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@KLobstar: [seaside wedding] We are gathered here today to celebrate the- [bride picked up by giant seagull] -completion of the ritual. HAIL GULLTHRAX
@imdaintyaf: Me: What's the point if it's not a little violent, dirty? I wanna feel alive. The blood makes me feel ALIVE. Dentist: Please just floss more
@Dawn_M_: I'm crying and wearing a falcon glove so I get sympathy sex from people who think my falcon flew away.