@omgthatspunny: A pun and grammar lesson in one
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@RexHuppke: My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate.
@Steven37366100: HR: We’ve noticed a substantial amount of office supplies missing recently. Me *wearing a 3-piece suit made of Post-It notes*: That’s odd
@batkaren: They're a pack of lions He's some guy who hates lions Together, they're: PRIDE AND PREJUDICE This fall on CBS
@stacywawa1: The ex just asked me how can one have a soulmate if one has no soul? Wonder which of us he was referring to?