@sarcasticmommy4: A quick way to get your kids to leave you alone is to say, "I need to make your dentist appointment."
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@MsFoxIfUrNasty: M: I have what they call animal magnetism. H: *sidles up to me* *winks* Oh yeah? M: Uh-huh. *points to squirrel affixed to stray cat*
@MatCro: [doctor's] INVISIBLE MAN: Am I cured doc? DR: Your tests are all clear IM: Is that good? DR: [talking to wrong empty chair] I'm not sure
@ItsAndyRyan: "How come Americans write the month first?" "That's how you say it, month first" "What's the date today" "It's the fourth of July"
@specialsquid: "Hi, my name is Gary and I'm a shopaholic, my favorite place to shop is the alcohol store."