@wizdom: A real boyfriend will blow up his girl's phone when she's mad at him. She may not want to answer, but at least she'll see his effort.
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@Neauxpe: The last time I wore a red shirt, I went to Target and laid off 8 people in the morning team huddle.
@TrainedHedonist: Car trouble, miss? Allow me to squint, and posture heroically while staring at your labyrinthine engine as panic cascades through my spine.
@david8hughes: "You stand accused of 3 counts of first degree murder." "Look, I'm a lot of things--" "Are you a murderer?" [bites lower lip] "Little bit."