@twayne1010: A real ice cream truck would have melted by now.
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@TheToddWilliams: [shark therapy] "My girl dumped me & I haven't eaten in days" There's lots of fish in the sea "Yeah but...actually that covers everything"
@bransonreese: Hate it when a grand piano falls on me and my head pops out of the wreckage and the keys are my teeth. The experience is simply not for me.
@jctwritesstuff: Me: It's late. Go to sleep. Brain: K. Me: Brain: Me: *kinda dozing off* Brain: WHY WOULD HORSES EVEN TRY TO PUT AN EGG BACK TOGETHER?