@twayne1010: A real ice cream truck would have melted by now.
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@librarianfonz: It's especially on Fridays at 5 pm when I wish I could slide down the back of a brontosaurus directly into my car.
@SortaBad: *guy shows me his Chinese character tattoo* "It means wisdom" *I show him a Batman BandAid on my arm* "It means I was brave at the doctor"
@salmarch79: Whenever my wife forces me to write my own message on a bday card, I write it on top of her's and copy exactly what she wrote.