@TheBeerGuy73: A reality show, where you spy on your suspected cheating significant other, called Baewatch.
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@SoulYodeler: Goodnight moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon. Goodnight space cow preventing other cows from clearing the moon. Goodnight ketamine.
@mynameisntdave: [diner] ME: I'll have the eggs, please WAITER: how would you like those? ME: painted and hidden for me to find, thank you.
@daryl_licked: My girlfriend's daughter was laying across my legs. Me: What am I a pillow now? Her: Yep, and pillows don't talk. I think we're bonding.
@WilliamAder: "Down" "Penetration" "Tight End" "Ball handling" Don't the networks have censors any more?