@gavinpivott: A really hot girl asked me for my number today and all I had to do was hit her car with my car.
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@justabloodygame: [Scooby & the gang catch a regular guy] "Let's see who this ghost really is!" No! Wait, I'm not- [rip off face] *gasps* "OLD MAN SKELETON?"
@ibid78: [interview for CIA] Your résumé says you're a master in hand-to-hand wombat. Is that a typo or- *I've already thrown a wombat at his face*
@NickLMao1: How about the No Bucket Challenge? Basically you just give a charity some money and don't tell anyone about it.