@gavinpivott: A really hot girl asked me for my number today and all I had to do was hit her car with my car.
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@TheFearBoners: The only thing more boring than Lance Armstrong's interview is the Tour de France.
@StellaRtwot: I bet you the first person to invent puzzles was a woman that ripped up a picture of her husband.
@Rollinintheseat: An app that tells you if there’s anyone at the grocery store you’ll have to make small talk with.