@Phook75: A reboot of Dexter, but this time he stalks and kills people who reply to a text message with a phone call
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@GriffLightning: OH MY GOD EDDIE MURPHY IS GOING TO DO STAND UP I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT oh never mind they're going to commercial. #SNL40
@Lisa_Laughs_: Me: I can't work today. Boss: Why? M: My grandma died. B: Our grandmas died 20 yrs ago. M: ... -Why working for your brother is a bad idea.
@AbiWilks: My toddler just asked me "mummy why do people think falsely attributing quotes to my preschool peers lends their bad opinions authenticity?"