@Roweboat13G: A recent medical study shows that women who carry a little extra weight generally live longer than the men in their lives who mention it.
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@simoncholland: Let's get married and have kids so instead of doing fun stuff on the weekend we can go to a kid's birthday party where everyone coughs.
@Brampersandon_: INTERVIEWER: this says u work well with otters. Did u mean others? ME (shoving a romp of otters back into my briefcase): haha yeah of course
@murrman5: my neighbour ryan: I was at a zombie walk we all dressup and walk around downtown me holding an axe: I wanna believe you ryan I really do