@Roweboat13G: A recent medical study shows that women who carry a little extra weight generally live longer than the men in their lives who mention it.
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@trevso_electric: Fact: If you eat a slice of pizza fast enough, your body won't understand how many calories are in it.
@mjm866: My two year old just learned to say shut up. Coincidentally I just lost all guilt about clothes lining a toddler.
@ObscureGent: Nobody discretely coughs blood into a handkerchief while wearing a top hat anymore.