@fatherofcomedy: A recent study by UN has found dexter to be the no 1 cause for ocean pollution
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@SocialustGal13: Let's make a deal. You sing Christmas music in the office and I'll leave 5 minutes early to let the air out of your tires. Deal?
@jake_lach: The best thing about weed is it teaches you that it's okay to take 35 minutes to make a sandwich
@joshgondelman: In retrospect, "Metallica" is a hilarious name for a metal band. It's like a Bob Dylan calling himself "Ol' Folksy."