@fatherofcomedy: A recent study by UN has found dexter to be the no 1 cause for ocean pollution
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Trump: 🎶 Do you wanna build a snowman? 🎶 Elsa: Who will pay for this snowman? Trump: 🎶 Ok byeee 🎶
@Matt_The_1st: Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?
@mishakey: I was tailgating a slow driver earlier. He brake checked, flipped me off, and when that didn't work he turned his police lights on. Jerk.