@a_olivia4212: A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it
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@ChaseMit: Let's be honest: The documentary they were making before the Blair Witch killed them would have sucked
@TheGladStork: Daughter: How was your day, Daddy? Me: Pretty busy, lots of meetings and deadlines. Her: DEAD LIONS!?!
@JasonLastname: Law enforcement's cracking down on texting while driving, but there's no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof.
@Contwixt: Why go through the trouble of becoming an astronaut when you could just put a plastic bag over your head and roll down a hill in a freezer?