@_NTFG_: A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
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@thenatewolf: The lights are dimmed. Sexy music plays. She runs her fingers across my scar. "I got that when I fell off the toilet," I whisper.
@FlyJ_: My kid started doing this annoying preteen whiny voice and now I can turn my head all the way around like the exorcist.
@Thomas_Lull: Life is like a box of condoms. If you don't use one, you never know what you're goin get.