@AntDiPalma: A religious family member literally said "Spongebob goes too far sometimes" and I can not stop laughing.
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@jwoodham: I socially identify as the guy who tried to jump off of the sinking Titanic but ending up hitting a massive propeller on the way down.
@cool_pond: replace the chair in the Oval Office w/slightly bigger chair every day for next 4 yrs til trump looks tiny + his feet don't touch the ground
@cool_as_heck: Boy: I wish more girls liked farming Girl: I like farming Boy: Lol oh yeah? Name the 5 most water-efficient irrigation systems of the 1980s
@CelebrityChez: Just saw a fly on my flight and all I could think was what a lazy piece of shit.