@bazecraze: A revolving door is an IQ test you can fail in public.
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@MikeRevenaugh: Your boss will respect you more if you sometimes disagree, especially if you touch their face and say "You silly goose."
@sarcasticmommy4: What I said: GET IN THE CAR, WE'RE LATE! What my kids hear: Start looking for a toy that was lost 5 years ago.
@jctwritesstuff: [Command Center] *opens map* *traces route* *marks intercept point* *drives* *waits* *target arrives *tackles* Liquor Delivery Guy: Again?
@DirtMcTurd: Just reported a car stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the window were white