@Nahdude83: A roasted peanut is a regular peanut that was made fun of by celebrity peanuts.
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@sweetandweak: You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.
@LoriLuvsShoes: My 16: "How come when my friends come over you're suddenly the nicest mom in the world?"
@BlindChow: Karen, will you marry me? "Ugh. No. Please take me home." *20 minutes of awkward silence as hot air balloon slowly descends*