@bonehugsnirony: A robot steals your job. It hurts, but that's how the economy works. Nothing personal. The robot starts texting your wife.
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@ashleycrem: My 4 y/o doesn't realize that things in life have happened before his existence. I bet this is what life is like for Kanye. Let's be gentle.
@StaceyShortcake: Accidentally sent a guy a ;) instead of a :), now one of us is probably pregnant.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I bet Lance Armstrong is smugly saying "at least I didn't kill anybody" to like every person he sees today.