@gobmentcheese: A romcom where I go to stop you at the airport, except I go to Cinnabon & then forget why I'm at the airport.
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@Tmoney68: People always ask why I'm wearing a sombrero in my high school graduation pictures. Clearly, because it was my señor year.
@topaz_kell: Never trust a sweet talker.. They probably just want you to undo the zip ties so they can escape.
@staceys55: Police: "You were going fast." Me: "I was trying to keep up with traffic." Police: "There isn't any." Me: "That's how far behind I am!"