@VaguelyFunnyDan: A Russian bomber was intercepted 20 miles from Los Angeles at 5:17am this morning, but no one wants to talk about it 'cause I made it up.
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@HMittelmark: Men want to be him. Women want to be with him. Bears want to eat him. Botflies want to lay their eggs in his skin. Fish are unaware of him.
@drewtoothpaste: Get a big metal box, label it "TIME CAPSULE" and take a big dump in it so people know what 2011 was like.