@13spencer: A San Francisco man is running seven marathons in seven days on seven continents; he’s expected to be seven times as annoying about it.
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@michaelianblack: Fun fact: The hip word "chillax" is a combination of the slang term "chill" and the more traditional word "laxative."
@GrantTanaka: wife: can you check something on my phone for me me: sure what's your passcode w: our anniversary m: w: ANNIVERSARY m: [sweating profusely]
@Parkerlawyer: People that don't tweet for months and then show up like nothing happened... Was it jail? I bet it was jail.