@birbigs: A shake for breakfast. A shake for lunch. A sensible dinner. SEVENTY FIVE COOKIES AT 12:34AM
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@XplodingUnicorn: I made my 4-year-old sit at the table till she finished her lunch It took her 3 hours She was so excited to be done Then I served dinner.
@RowdyBowden: We're gathered here today to mourn the loss of Derek. His last words were "Watch me try and keep my eyes open while sneezing!"
@Just_Lee_: The world is full of terrible people, but there's none so evil as the man who fries bacon right next door to the gym.