@HallJ0410: A shower so cold, you call it by your exes name
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@GodDammitDanny: To the guy who just followed me with "Conservative, God-loving, pro-life" in his bio... are you sure you want to do this?
@michaelianblack: There's probably one fireman in every house who likes to work the pole in front of the other guys "as a joke."
@gojarbe: [wedding] i wrote my own vows *removes paper* "chickety china the chinese chicken" whoops wrong one *2nd paper* "if i had $1,000,000"