@PaperWash: A single text to my mom is like pulling that loose thread on a sweater.
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@Playing_Dad: If God didn't intend for us to eat animals, he was probably really freaked out when we started
@feelmesucka: Unless you and your family were attacked by Bigfoot, then no, I don't want to see your camping pictures.
@usermcuserface: Manager to waiter: Wait for it.. Wait for it.. (Sees me take a huge bite of food) Go! Go! Go! Waiter: so how is everything today?