@3sunzzz: A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it's fun to push things down the stairs.
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@JediGigi: The sex was going great until he questioned why I was making my storm trooper action figures kiss across his forehead.
@ShittyComedian: Anytime I'm using a stall in a public restroom and someone knocks on the door, I always say, "Did you bring the lube?" As loud as possible.
@TheAlexNevil: Boss: You wrote one of your strengths is invisibility and that seems--what are you doing?! Me (giving him the finger): Wait--you can see me?