@dreamthievin: A small part of me is filled with self-loathing for how much pizza I can eat in one sitting. The rest of me is filled with pizza.
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@hipchkk: I encourage my kids to explore art. I insist they know Picasso's Blue Period had nothing to do with the menstrual cycle of a Smurf.
@MarkAgee: "Pres. Trump, how do you plan to respond to this attack on our soil?" TRUMP: OK first, I've seen several people call me Tronald Dump online
@MatMarcotte12: I don't know the full history of US and Canada but somehow we've got joint custody of geese
@pranavsapra: They named it Galaxy Note because when you take this thing out of your pocket, the entire Galaxy can note that it's been taken out.