@KeetPotato: a snail bet me £1000 he could get home before i could and i didn't really think it thru properly can anybody lend me money?
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@peachesanscream: The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
@Douchekevin: Men don't ask for driving directions because we just don't want to arrive wherever you're making us go.
@taramae72: *Mouth full of pizza* Boss: I thought you were trying to lose weight? Me: Waaa? Iths diet peetha.