@leechee420: A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn't know it was even possible to be this jealous.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KeetPotato: [on phone to gf] her: "you never understand me anymore so.." me: "so what?" her: "we're breaking up" me: "i can hear you fine"
@jwoodham: DUMBLEDORE: Say hello to our new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, Professor Totally-Not-Working-For-Voldemort. SNAPE: Dude, seriously?
@Underchilde: Dear Abby, I saw a questionable mole on this girl I like. How do I tell her without letting her know I hid a camera in her shower?