@audipenny: A snake is what happens when a string goes "what if I was alive and had a weird mad looking head"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@13spencer: A hot girl in the hallway just smiled at me, but don't worry; I yelled "I'm taken," and ran into the men's bathroom where she can't follow.
@QwertyJones3: "What are you doing tonight?" Gonna smoke some Herb. "Nice." -guys who work in a crematorium
@StansaidAirport: Do you like freezing to death and knocking down trees with your face? Well why not book a skiing holiday?
@IronWang: Me: Close your eyes. Give me your hand, darling. Can you feel my heart beating? Do you unders... Dr:(removes stethoscope) Really? Everytime?