@audipenny: A snake is what happens when a string goes "what if I was alive and had a weird mad looking head"
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@Tmoney68: A big storm is coming & everyone's buying bread, milk, and eggs. Apparently you battle bad weather with French Toast.
@thenatewolf: Salesman: first time buying a motorcycle? Me: that obvious? Salesman: nobody asks "how loud is the vroom?" they ask "what's the vroomage?"
@AndyAsAdjective: ME: I dreamed about you last night PIZZA DELIVERY GUY: please just sign your receipt so I can leave, sir