@audipenny: A snake is what happens when a string goes "what if I was alive and had a weird mad looking head"
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@R0ckG0d88: Damn girl, are you an appendix because I have no idea what you do but this weird feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
@TheDairylandDon: No rule against wearing an old Halloween costume to Thanksgiving. Let your racist uncle talk presidential politics with Donkey from Shrek.
@DanMentos: *surgeon opens cooler during transplant* *cooler is full of Gatorade* "Wait but this means…" *cut to surgeon's kids dumping kidney on coach*
@justabloodygame: [throwing a party] I invited Judas. That okay? "Judas from IT, or the guy who betrayed Jesu-" *loud knock* "It's the Roman legion. Open up!"