@audipenny: A snake is what happens when a string goes "what if I was alive and had a weird mad looking head"
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@Glove_Monkey: Put the spoiled milk back in the fridge and hope it gets better. - What I think when I hear someone is getting back together with an ex.
@buhsbaby_baby: When my dogs crawl into bed with me, I like to pretend it's because they love me and not because I am sleeping in their dog bed on the floor
@Darlainky: Me: Want to see me do The Robot? Friend: Sure. Me: Friend: Why aren't you moving? Me: Updating software.