@pharmasean: A song called "Baby It's Not *THAT* Cold Outside" where I'm just trying to get the lady to leave
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@TedInModeration: Rips off my shirt to reveal an S on my chest that's actually remnants of last nights spaghettiO's
@ieatanddrink: Dating tip: Walk up to a girl in a club, smile, look into her eyes, take her hand and walk away. If she wants her hand back, she'll find you
@CVTBaby: Hairdresser: How much should I trim off the back? Me: Leave it long enough for him to wrap around his fist twice.