@TheTweetOfGod: 'Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the mall There were multiple reports of trampling injuries.

@thenatewolf: Seeing the leaves change in autumn always reminds me of my Grandpa. He died falling out of a tree too.

@Sassafrantz: Some guy just asked if I was Asian cuz he's China get in my pants. Hope your day is as magical as mine.

@SaltyCorpse: My son got a Country Boy sticker for his truck. I wrote "but I live on a golf course and I'm afraid of cows" under it bc I don't like lies.

@1_swarthy_dude: "Did anyone else's house get burglarized and have horrible music put on all their devices..........oh U2?"