@salamingia: A speedo is just a man's way of saying "not today girls".
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@AndyAsAdjective: Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror & said out loud, "You gotta bring it today!" SO I'M GONNA BRING IT! *brings lunch to work*
@davidkenny100: American: I was just at a shotgun wedding Me: How far pregnant was the bride? American: You English are insane Shotguns can't get pregnant
@sip_at_home_mom: I wrote: You'll always have a place in my heart. AC sent: You'll always have a place in my hearse. Now "staying friends" seems unlikely.