@girl_a_whirl: A spider crawled on my son's hand today. I did what any father would do. I mean, Luke Skywalker seems like a productive member of society.
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@Book_Krazy: Her: OMG you're alive!!! I heard you bought the farm! ME: No no, I bought "a" farm. HER: but I told everyone you're dead! ME: That's fine
@HatfieldAnne: TV chef warns against “over vegetablizing” a sandwich. I lean in closely, hoping he’s also against “under buttering” everything else.
@Book_Krazy: [Couples Therapy] HER: He keeps pretending he's a doctor. This relationship is dead HIM: I'm calling it. Time of death, 9:26 ME: OMG SEE!