@Steelers1972: A spider just fell from the ceiling and landed right in front of me and now I have to explain why a woman was screaming in my cubicle.
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@brendohare: Every night someone breaks into my house & dresses me for the next day. I guess I'd be more upset if it wasn't saving me time in the morning
@superdadatron: Lies I'll never stop telling: 1. I'd never put you in a home, mom. 2. It's 6 inches long. 3. I have no idea how the PC got a virus.
@AaronFullerton: Doctor: "I'm sorry, sir, but you have an STD. I suggest you make a list of all your partners--" Lou Bega: "Way ahead of you."