@sarcasm_inc: [a spider watching soccer when someone kicks a ball into the net] hell yeah, now eat it
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@simoncholland: You think you have a pretty strong marriage until you try to help your 5th grader with her math homework together.
@NicestHippo: People already feel judged in public but what if they also had the same awful feeling in private? GUY WHO INVENTED RELIGION: I have an idea
@j0hnonline: Hi we're a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can't ever find our dog.