@NicestHippo: A squiggly red line should appear under people who are wrong for you
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@DBMaxP: It's a good thing I'm off for a vacation soon. It took me 15 minutes of her talking about her Volvo before I realized she meant her car
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: How many legs does the dog have? 4 y.o: Five Me: There’s something wrong with your counting. 4: There’s something wrong with the dog.
@DanMentos: *chad kroeger walks through metal detector at airport* TSA agent: I've never seen this low of a reading