@NicestHippo: A squiggly red line should appear under people who are wrong for you
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@MonSwanson: I can't wait for my grandma to ask me repeatedly why I don't have a boyfriend "because I'm such a pretty girl". I'm a psycho, grandma.
@susie_meister: If we eliminated, "Is your car running ok?" from our conversations, my dad and I would never speak.
@SocialustGal13: Let's make a deal. You sing Christmas music in the office and I'll leave 5 minutes early to let the air out of your tires. Deal?
@BadassBarbie11: The good news is, I blocked the creepy guy. The bad news is, I'm tweeting this from inside his trunk.