@salmarch79: A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who's stressing you out.
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@vapidaccount: Thanks autocorrect...clearly "I am fantasy" is a better answer than "fantastic" when asked how I'm doing...
@ProBirdRights: I been working on my summer bod: it the same as my regular body, but this time more popsackles in it.
@GrantTanaka: Helped my son flush his betta fish today. He asked "Dad, does God love bettas?" & I said "Dunno, son, ask him after we flush you."
@Blondrbomber: When I see crying children and miserable parents- I run to the bathroom, crush up my birth control, and snort it.