@salmarch79: A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who's stressing you out.
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@desi_princess: I told my boss I'm calling in sick today. He said, "You can't do that when you're already here." Is that true you guys?
@That_Damn_Duck: Superman is depressed because he has to change in dirty gas station bathrooms since the telephone booth is now extinct. Poor Superman.
@AGreaterMonster: In first grade I pretended I could talk to animals because I thought kids would like me, but then a squirrel attacked Lisa Shapiro.