@shashaintl: A strong person stands up for himself. A stronger person stands up for himself while bench pressing another person standing up for himself.
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@ThisLocalHater: [During sex] Me: I know you want me to be "naughty", but I can barely breathe in this Hamburglar costume.
@Brampersandon_: ME (drunkenly picking a fight with a cake): get out my face you jerk CAKE: hey pal you wanna piece of me?!? ME: ok wow now I'm conflicted
@noog: Squirrels run around like they're being chased. Nobody cares about you. You live in tree. Get a job